I'm not entirely sure why you felt the need to interact with me at all considering you were three lanes away from me in opposite facing traffic. I'm also not sure why, when I made obvious attempts to ignore you, you continued to pursue my attention seeing as how, again, I was far away from you and clearly uninterested in communicating. I am also, quite frankly, concerned about your judgement considering the fact that you had your young child in the car and for all you know I am a crazy psychopath with murder on my mind.
I know my car and license plate (HOOTY on a green Mini) are totally adorable but not particularly threatening. So maybe you thought I was some softie you could just talk shit to? Well think again biotch!
Because frankly, yes, I did have my wee dog on my lap with his adorable wittle face enjoying the breeze from my three-quarters closed for safety window. And yes, I am aware that this is not exactly responsible driving but since traffic was stopped then moving approximately three miles per hour, I guess I was feeling dangerous.
What's funny is, I initially thought you were admiring my adorable wee doggle as he is completely delicious and we can't go anywhere without people stopping us to admire his fabulousness.
Imagine my surprise and dismay when I finally gave in and made eye contact with you it was to hear you shrieking at me.
"THAT'S A HUNDRED DOLLAR FINE RIGHT THERE!! A HUNDRED DOLLAR FINE!!!"
As you pointed your judgy clawed talon finger at me.
I can only hope you caught my sincere sarcasm as I smiled my brightest, sweetest smile at you and responded, "Thank you soooo much! You are SO HELPFUL!!" And waved my sweet puppy's paw at you with glee.
We blew you kisses and drove away because my mama taught me to kill 'em with kindness and that is how I roll.
XOXO,
Erin and Shamus
Shamus (aka Badass McWindowSniffer)
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