Sunday, October 28, 2012

Dear Sandy...

Dear Hurricane Sandy,

I'm sorry if I was a little harsh before. I was really full of piss and vinegar on that one!

Anywho, at this point, I'm a little scared of you. Did you know they're calling you Frankenstorm now? I've done all I can do to prepare. Thank God I made it to the supermarket in time to get the required eggs, milk, and bread. Phew. Just to be on the safe side, I also bought 2 back-up loaves, 4 six-packs of Parmalot (scary milk in boxes that requires no refrigeration), approximately 10 gallons of distilled water in jugs, and as much canned tuna and Cap'n Crunch that I could find left on the shelves.

In preparation for what I can only assume will commence the start of the zombie apocalypse, I have been secretly training in Mixed Martial Arts and target shooting. I have also been practicing my swing with the old machete. No need to fear folks, I am ready to chop/shoot/crush all zombies who try and mess with me. As well as anyone we suspect might be a zombie. (*Note: if you get bitten by a zombie all friendships are off. Sorry. And - You're Welcome.)

Anyway, if you could maybe try and not drop an RV on my house, that would be super. I say this because seriously? I live next to an RV storage facility. So, really, don't drop that shit on my house. I don't have RV Smash insurance coverage.

Thanks a bunch,
xoxo - erin
Kitten says: Be gentle, Sandy!

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