Friday, July 20, 2012


It's hard to take in the breadth and scope of a tragedy like what we are witnessing today in Aurora, CO. I don't turn the television on right when I get up in the morning and I'm kind of relieved that my morning routine saved me from the shock of seeing it without warning. My husband is usually the one who turns the tv on because he likes background noise so as I was in the kitchen feeding the dogs I was able to hear the tone of voice of the commentators and quickly able to glean something awful had happened. Even with warning, however, watching a teenage boy who could not have been over 18 tell about his experience in the theater was jarring to say the least. So was the woman who'd had a gun pointed at her but somehow managed to escape and don't even get me started on the 3-month old baby who was reportedly in the theater as well. Not only is that awful beyond belief but it makes me angry. So angry I want to lash out at those parents for being selfish idiots. Who takes a 3-month old INFANT to a midnight showing of an incredibly violent movie? Are they even remotely aware of the acuity of an infants hearing? Did they think at all about how terrifying the movie alone would be to this tiny baby? I want to scream at them and shake them for being so selfish and stupid and shallow that they would put a baby in that position at all.

But I have to let go of that. Because they did NOT get what they deserved. Nobody in that theater deserves what happened to them. No human being deserves to be shot at like fish in a barrel. It's sickening. It's vile. It's sociopathic.
Also terrifying to me is that his own mother wasn't surprised to hear what her son had done. "You have the right guy" she said. No mother deserves to fear her own child but clearly, she knows her son is a monster.

President Obama's speech this morning showed class and integrity. What frustrates me, however, is it doesn't feel like anyone heard him. He said there will be another day for politics. And he is right. Unfortunately, this country is so divided and blame-happy that all over message boards as I write this, thousands of people are arguing over gun control, Obama, and bullying. Towards those individuals I have such anger and disappointment. Get off the fear wheel and be a human for God's sake. Stop arguing and take a minute to actually FEEL.
Feel anything - shock, horror, sadness, grief, anger, fear, sickness - stop talking and open up your humanity. Stop hiding behind your politics and opinions for five minutes. The Constitution isn't going anywhere and by the way, President Obama isn't either. (Not if there's a God up in Heaven at least.)(I get it, leaving politics out is insanely hard. I recognize my own irony in being unable to refrain myself.) Point being - recognize that this is a tragedy and should not be treated as another reason to get up on your soapbox.

When I read about one of the victims, Jessica Ghawi, a sports blogger who worked under the name of Jessica Redfield I was awe-struck. She was killed by this madman's sickness today. What shocks me about her story is she was a witness to a mass shooting in Toronto, Canada this past June at the Eaton Center.

Does this mean she was unluckiest woman on earth or are these shootings becoming more common? Also, how did I miss news about this Toronto shooting? Toronto is not that far from where I live. In high school we took a bus to Toronto for some choir related event. It is literally a bus ride away from me but somehow, that news story didn't make it into my awareness. Because if it doesn't happen in America it doesn't count? One dead, seven injured. Maybe that's not enough violent deaths to make it into American news? Jessica Ghawi missed the Toronto shooter opening fire by three minutes. She was not so lucky this time and for that, I have no words.

Ghawi had been in Toronto to visit her hockey player boyfriend, Jay Meloff. In the last post on her blog, dated June 5, she wrote of having been on a mission at the Eaton Centre to shop and eat sushi. But for some reason, she decided at the last minute to eat a burger instead.
She wrote that her receipt showed 6:20 p.m. as the time, at which point something led her to go outside in the rain, rather than pursue her shopping expedition. The first shots rang out at 6:23 p.m.
It was only later she would find out that she was eating in the same spot where the shooter would open fire and that, had she gone for sushi, she would have been in the same place where one of the victims had been.
“I was reminded that we don’t know when or where our time on Earth will end. When or where we will breathe our last breath,” she wrote. “I wish I could shake this odd feeling from my chest . . . The feeling that may have potentially saved my life.” (Via


  1. I'm behind on my stalking of your blog... So today I will say that I said this SAME thing last night. Do we really think that now is the best and most appropriate time to be working double time on our political agenda?? (whether its purpose is to impeach Obama, outlaw guns, riot against the possibility of outlawing guns etc). Wtf is wrong with everyone? These are real people. Their families are real people. They deserve their time to grieve THEIR loss and not be bombarded with how THEIR tragedy is merely proof of someone's political point.